Crapcom vs STINK 2
by KD001
Summary: WARNING: not for the politically correct, self-rigteous, or mentally sane
1. Default Chapter

Crapcom vs. StiNK: More Shit left over by this fucking Millenium  
  
By: KD001  
  
We have grown up looking up to them  
We have grown up wanting to be like them  
We have grown up wanting to be as strong as them  
They are our idols  
They are our heroes  
But there is also more to them  
Than we see....  
Little that we know  
That they are really not heroes  
But about as stupid  
as you and me...  
  
  
uhh.... waitaminute.... that didn't come out right....... 


	2. Now for a classic.....

Story 1: Not so Fatal Fury  
  
Okay, I'll admit it. I'm a Bogardmaniac. Of any fighting game, Terry's my favorite and best character. It all started in the video game, "Fatal Fury". I thought he was the coolest-looking fighter in any video game (since he wore "normal clothes") and have been using him ever since. I mean, who doesn't love the short-jumpkick, to jab, connected by a fierce, and then a level three buster wolf, finished off by the rising tackle-to-juggle-the sucker-into-the-air combo of CvsS 2? Thought so =P  
----------  
  
Southtown...near Geese tower.....  
  
A young man wering a red cap, jacket, worn-out jeans, and old-school converse sneakers approached the magnificent skyscraper. He had a vendetta against the cold ruler of Southtown that expands over ten years. His skill in fighting was unmatched by anyone in this God-forsaken place. He might also be the strongest figher in the world...  
  
He is Terry Bogard, and he came to kick some ass....  
  
Every day before, Geese Howard (the man who owned Southown like every other NBA team owned the Golden State Warriors) has avoided this youth's wrath, through cunning and skill. This day will be different. This time, Geese shall face justice. This time, he shall face the reaper. This time, a sword made out of electricity almost cleaved Terry into two....waitaminute....  
  
"Whoa! What was that?" Terry thought.  
  
Between Terry and Geese Tower stood a blond man wearing some futuristic type of...umm.. I guess a priest outfit? In his hand was a fencing sword which glowed with electricity.  
  
"Terry Bogard," The man spoke," Today you shall die."  
  
Terry's response was less civil.  
  
"Who the hell are you, and what the hell are you doing here?"  
  
The mysterious man somehow grabbed a microphone out of nowhere and spoke.  
  
"I am Ky Kiske. I have been informed that you have done me a grat wrong"  
  
The man began to cry as much as Tidus from Final Fantasy 10 (and thats a lot of crying if you ask me)  
  
"YOU HAVE *sob* SLEPED WITH THE ONE *sniff* I LOVE!!!!"  
  
Now the man was crying as much as Dan Hibiki.  
  
Terry didn't show much interest. Geese has alwaysed pulled of shit like this. One time Terry had to fight Kyo, because "someone" told him Terry was slepping with Yuki (and Terry would have gotten his ass in lock-down if he really had done it) There was even that incident with Jin Kazama...  
  
"Look," Terry spoke in a cool tone," I can assure you that this is all a lie made up...."  
  
"YOU SLEPED WITH MY LOVE AND YOU KNOW IT!!!!"  
  
"...okaaaayyyyy....." Terry figured that talking would be worthless. However, he will give it another shot, even though he could tell Geese is now packing his bags and boarding by helicopter...  
  
"Look...uhhh...Ky.... Trust me, this is all a...."  
  
"YOU SLEPT WITH HIM! YOU SLEPT WITH HIM! YOU SLEPT WITH HIM!"  
  
"Look I didnt... I SLEPT WITH WHAT?"  
  
All of a sudden, a helicopter darted past both of them. A man inside the chopper spoke out, using a megaphone.  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Terry knew that voice... He looked up in the air, shaking his fist, and growling," GEEEEEESE!!!!"  
  
"MUAHAHAHAHAH! I HAVE ESCAPED FROM YOU AGAIN TERRY! BUD DO NOT WORRY, ONE DAY WE WILL FIGHT! I WILL SHHHHTTTAAINNN MMY HEEAD WITTH YOURRRR BUUUUUUUT (translation: I will stain my head with your blood)"  
  
"GEESE! ONE DAY! ILL WILL HAVE MY.... HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE STICKING THAT THING!"  
  
"TERRY! YOU SHALL DIE!"  
  
"GO AWAY DAMNIT!"  
  
"MY HONOR SHALL BE AVENGED!"  
  
"GO AWAY!"  
  
Out of the blue, a man with spiky hair ran towards the two, yelling "STOP!"  
  
Ky looked at the man.  
  
"Sol!"  
  
Indeed, it was Sol Badguy. Ky didn't look so happy.  
  
"How dare you show your face..."  
  
"Let me explain...."  
  
And the rest of the conversation whent like this:  
  
Sol: I'm sorry Ky. I should have never done...  
Ky: DON'T TALK TO ME!  
Terry:...  
Sol: I didn't mean what I have done...  
Ky: But why?  
Sol: It was a mistake  
Terry: ...gimme a break....  
Sol: please forgive me...  
Ky:....okay!  
Sol: I LOVE YOU KY!  
Ky: I LOVE YOOO TOOOOO!  
  
Terry couldn't take much more of this sappiness....  
  
Terry: Are you okay?  
Sol & Ky: Yea, We're....  
  
Terry:.....BUSTAAAAAHHHHHHH! WOLF!!!!!!!  
  
Terry's Buster wolf blasted the couple out of Southtown, and into God knows where. Tired of the events, Terry decided to go somewhere and drink his ass off.  
  
Afterwords:  
  
Geese though he escaped. Unfortunately, he fell off the the helicopter. The helicopter then landed on top of him. Don;t worry, he's okay.  
  
Sol and Ky got married, and lived thier lives hapilly in Southpark, where they saw Kenny die about a million times. Then they moved to Souttown, where once again, Geese bothered the two again. This time, he made up a rumor that Terry slept with Ky. So got pissed, and the two divorced. Later at a Star Treck convention, the two met with each other, and married once again. They are now living hapilly in a sheep farm.  
  
Terry still didn't avenge his father's death, and it looks like he never will. 


	3. Wanna see Ryu get high?

Story 2: Ryu Gets High  
  
Everyone who has ever heard of Street Fighter must know who Ryu is. And I'm pretty sure that   
everyone knows what Ryu always does. He constantly tries to become a true warrior, always   
improving his fighting abilities. He trains nonstop. He fights not for recognition from other people,   
but to prove to himself that he is the baddest of the bad. Yea, Ryu's cool and all....  
  
...BUT HE'S TOO DAMN FUCKING BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Now what can make Ryu loosen up? Outdrinking 'Gief in a vodka drinking contest? Looking up   
Sakura's skirt? Rough sex with Chun Li? Nah, none of these things can do what a lil' happy   
plant called "Merry-Ja-Wanna" can....  
  
Oh, and if you're pro-Tobacco Industry (meaning that they bribe your ass with hella money),   
then you might not want to read this....  
  
  
  
Oh yea, before I start, I do not own any of the characters shown in any of the stories in this fic,   
unless I state so. Capcom is a trademark of...blah blah blah, SNK is a trademart of...blah blah   
blah, and blah blah blah, and whatever. I forgot to add this last time,   
so I'm saying it now. So nyah nyah=P  
__________  
  
Currently, we see Ryu and Zangief sitting on a table. A large amount of empty bottles (which   
use to be full of vodka) lie around the floor.  
  
Ryu keeps an almost emotionless face.  
  
Ryu: "The Fight is all"  
  
Zangief, on the other hand, could barely keep a face.  
  
Zangief: "ehh.. wut the hell.... yaouuuuu....ain't drunk yet?"  
Ryu: "...The fight is all..."  
Zangief: "...ehhh...*hic*....gawd daymn.....*falls on the floor, drunk on his ass*  
Ryu:"... The fight is all..." *walks away*  
  
Now, Ryu is in a japanese high school, on thefloor, looking up Sakura's skirt.  
  
Ryu:"... the fight is all..."  
Sakura:" EEEKKKK!!!!!! HENTAIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!'  
Ryu:"..."  
Sakura:"... well... maybe you can look a little longer..." *blushes*  
Ryu:"..." *ditches Sakura*  
Sakura:"uhhh... wait, I got other things to show you... PLEASE STOP RUNNING!!!!!"  
  
Now we see Ryu....uhhh.... *ahem*, "having fun" with Chun Li...  
  
Chun Li: "ohhhhhh....."  
  
Apparently... Even though "having fun" with Chun Li is probably about as wild and exiting as   
bungee-jumping naked into the arctic ocean (which unless you are already a freak, is pretty   
damn wild), Ryu still has no emotion on his face whatsoever, saying those same words in that   
Al Gore-ish tone of voice...  
  
Ryu:"... the fight is all."  
Chun Li:"... damnit Ryu, is that all you can say?"  
Ryu:"... the fight is all."  
Chun Li: "Fine then. I'm leaving. You can play with yourself as all I care."  
  
Chun Li stomps off. She was so mad, she forgot to put her clothes back on. This means that on   
that day, twenty teenaged men, thirty-four middle-aged men, twelve elderly guys (the ones that   
could still see anyways), and even the occasional woman died of a heart attack that day. At   
least they died happy.  
  
Ryu:"... the fight is all" *goes to sleep*  
  
The next day, Ryu and Ken was training.  
  
Ken:" So did you do all the things that I told you to do?"  
Ryu: "Yes I did. And apparently, they did not help me get more "exiting"  
Ken:"You outdrank 'gief?"  
Ryu:"...yes..."  
Ken: "...looked up Sakura's ass"  
Ryu:" ...yes..."  
Ken:"... rough sex with Chunny?"  
Ryu:"... yes..."  
Ken: "Well, sorry old buddy, but I can't help you anymore."  
Ryu:"... well it does not matter, because the fight..."  
Ken:" Yea, I know, the fight is all, the fight is all, THE FUCKING FIGHT IS ALL!!!   
DAMNIT RYU, SAY SOMETHING DIFFERENT WOULD YA?"  
Ryu:"... *says 'the fight is all' in Japanese*  
Ken:"AND I KNOW THAT YOUR STILL SAYING THE SAME DAMN THING IN JAPANESE!!!"  
Ryu:"...*says 'the fight is all' in Klingon"  
Ken: "SHUT UP!!!!"  
  
Ken tries to calm himself down. Unfortuntely, trying to find Ryu a life is like trying to beat that   
second "secret" in Bianco Hills of Super Mario Sunshine (which is HELLLLLAAAA hard).  
  
Ken:"...okay...Ryu...I'm sorry buddy, but I can't do anything for you. I tried, but I cant. You just   
gotta stay dull for the time being before I find something to un-dull you. Now I gotta go pick up   
my son from baseball practice."  
  
Note: Last time, Ken FORGOT to pick up his son from baseball practice. Needless to say,   
something really bad happened to him. What happened, you ask? Well..... let's just say that  
a certain "someone" has currently dethrowned Ken and has become Ryu's number one rival.  
Someone that kicked the living crap out of Ken. Someone that is Ken's wife.  
  
(In other words, don't fuck with the mother-son collabo', even if you are the pops)  
  
Ryu:"What am I gonna do now?'  
  
Out of nowhere, a mysterious tall japanese man with blond hair aprroached Ryu...  
  
???: "Heyyyy maynnnnnnn..."  
Ryu:" !"  
???: "I heard that you wanna... heh heh.... "loosen up" mayyyyynnnnnnn.....  
Ryu:" Who are you?"  
???: "Yamazaki at your service mayyyynnnnnn..... And here's my wife mayyyynnnnnn"  
  
Yamazaki pulls out a dead pidgeon.  
  
Yamazaki: "This is my wifey.... mayyyynnnnnn"  
Ryu:" uh... eww...."  
Yamazaki: "DON'T say that mayyyynnnn... She might not be a looker mayyynnnn... but she   
still gots feelings mayyyynnnn...."  
  
The pigeon's head, decides to fall off.  
  
Ryu:"...uh....eww...."  
  
Ryu would throw up, but he still shows no emotion.  
  
Yamazaki: "Hey maynnnn. I got something to help you out mayyyynnnnn..... It's a happy little   
plant called 'Merry-ja-Wannna' maynnnnn...."  
Ryu:" Wait a minute. Isn't marijuana bad for you?"  
Yamazaki:" Mayynnnnn.... that's just a cover up made by the govenment and the Tobacco   
Industry maynnnnn...."  
Ryu: "...uhhh.... how can such a small plant help me?"  
Yamazaki: "Well maynnn.... it helps ya out mayyynnnn.... Try it maynnnnn..."  
  
Ryu takes a leaf... and eats it  
  
Yamazaki: "Hey maynnnnn.... are ya stupid mayyynnn.... even my kids know what to do with   
Merry-ja-Wannna maynnnnnn..."  
  
Note: Don't ask me how some freak who inhales more weed than oxygen, and a rotting pidgeon  
with no head can make children. Use your own damn imagination.  
  
Yamazaki:" Here mayyynnnn.... I'lll help you out maynnnnn...."  
  
  
  
  
Later that day, Ken once again, finds Ryu near a small quickie mart. However, Ryu seems a   
lot different....  
  
Ryu:" ...fuck, fuck, Fuck... smoke'n weed, fuck, smoke'n blunts, you got the blunts, I GOT THE  
BLUNTS!, smok'en....."  
  
Ken:"...uhh ryu..... are you okay?'  
Ryu:" ....OHHHH MAYYYYNNNNNN!!!!!! *does a wierd laugh only ppl who are high can do*   
WASSUUUPPP KEEENNNNN!!!!"  
Ken:".... Damn ryu.... you alright?'  
Ryu:" ...whoa.... you're Ken... AND I'M RYU!!!! get it? Sho *points to Sho of Battle Arena   
Toshinden's fame* ....ryu *points to himself* ....KEN! *pokes Ken in the nose*  
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!"  
  
Sho, who was just passing by, shakes his head, muttering something about weed-addicts.  
  
Ken: "Uhh Ryu... maybe you should keep that to yourself....."  
  
Ken notices the twenty Jumbo Jack *note: I do not own the Jumbo Jack. Jack in the Box does*   
wrappers. around Ryu.  
  
Ken:" DAMN RYU! YOU'VE EATEN.... as much as usual..."  
Ryu:"... annnnnnndddd you....... YOU'RE KEN!!!! HAHAAHAHAHAH!"  
  
All of a sudden, a mysterious, and evil man appeared out of nowhere.  
  
???:" I COMMAND YOU TO STOP THERE!"  
Ken: !!!!  
Ryu:" HAHAHA! AND youuuuu.... arrreeeeeee......uhhhhh.... I dunnno whoooooo you are...."  
???: "I AM M. BISON! AND I AM THE LEADER OF TWO EVIL ORGANIZATIONS! ONE OF THEM  
BEING SHADOWLOO! AND THE OTHER ONE BEING...."  
Ken: *gasp!* "The Tobacco Industry!"  
M Bison:" YES! AND IN THE NAME OF THE TOBACCO INDUSTRY.... I SHALL DESTROY YOU!"  
  
The evil M. Bison begins his deadly "Pshycho Crusher". Ken runs around, muttering," We're   
gonna die," millions of times. Ryu, on the other hand, stares at Bison, showing no fear.  
  
Ryu:" STAND BACK! I shall show you my new deadly moves! HIGH-DO-KEN!'  
  
Ryu shoots out a powerful cloud of smoke, which knocks Bison out of his attack. All of a sudden,  
Ryu charges up with fierce energy.  
  
Ryu: NOW THE FINAL ATTACK! STOGIE-RYU-KEN!!!!  
  
Ryu sends Bison flying with a super-uppercut attack. Bison flies away into the air.  
  
M Bison; "LOOKS LIKE THE TOBACCO INDUSTRY IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!!!!'  
  
  
  
The sun is setting. Now Ken and Ryu face each other.   
Ken: "Wow Ryu. I didn't know weed can make you a better fighter."  
Ryu:" Yes it did. I found new techniques. Do you want some, Ken?"  
Ken: "No thanks. I have to find a different way to beat you one day."  
Ryu: "Well, I guess I must train more, and find more weed."  
Ken: "Well, good luck"  
  
Ryu walks into the sunset  
  
"The weed is all...."  
  
Afterwords:  
  
Ryu searches the world for more weed, and new fights.  
  
Ken forgets to pick up Mel from baseball practice again. He gets his ass beat again. Don't fuck   
with the mother-son collabo.  
  
The Tobacco Industry continues to destroy more families and people. Do not fall into their trap.  
SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY-HEY!!!!  
  
Yamazaki got on "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire", and somehow won over a million dollars.  
Don't ask me how. I just assumed that the host and the audience also got high of of him, and   
decided to just give the money away.  
  
Terry still didn't avenge his fathers death. Sorry. 


End file.
